The best accident is the one that never happens.

Lexus car company

The best child is the one that never grows up.

Mom

The best phone is the one that never rings.

Dingular

The best hand is the one that never folds.

Gamblers Anonymous

The best toilet is the one that never clogs.

Your Landlord

The best wheel is the one that never turns.

Vanna White

The best child is the one that never asks for money.

Dad

The best nut is the one that never cracks.

EDA

The best brat is the one that’s never conceived.

Your Stepparent

The best babysitter is the one that never stands up.

Your TV Set

Your Laptop Screen

Your Demented Grandfather